dog – Page 2 – The Two Bobs Podcast

TTB124: Crack Bites

On: March 2, 2020March 1, 2020 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 49:38 — 22.8MB)

The Two Bobs episode 124 for Monday, March 2, 2020:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob enjoyed a Banana Bread Beer from Eagle Brewery. https://eaglebrewery.co.uk/beers/banana-bread/
- Robert had a Hoppy Anniversary Ale from Sierra Nevada. https://sierranevada.com/beer/40th-anniversary-hoppy-ale/
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or we’ll stick potatoes up your ass.
Rob is having surgery to get out of work. What’s your excuse? If you’re not bright enough to think of anything here’s a few ideas. https://www.rd.com/funny-stuff/excuses-for-calling-out-of-work/
This week’s CRAZY NEWS is a bigger train wreck than Michael Bloomberg’s first presidential debate.
- Hemorrhoids? Stick potatoes up your ass! #lifehack https://nypost.com/2020/02/27/putting-potatoes-up-your-butt-wont-cure-hemorrhoids-doctors-warn/
- Florida man couldn’t get his nurse’s attention so he did the only logical thing and set his hospital bed on fire. https://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article240624047.html
- Couple was arrested after a topless happy birthday joyride ended in a crash. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/memorable-birthday-240567
- A Georgia bar manager encountered some legal trouble after hosting a Kama sutra contest on Valentine’s Day. It turns out that when you offer $500 to a bunch of drunk people to “act out” their favorite sex positions some of them will take things too far. https://www.11alive.com/article/news/local/gwinnett-kama-sutra-contest-chiquititas-bar/85-e84d5047-9317-4243-adcf-71250618fa5d
- A Detroit-area drug dealer was arrested for biting a police dog at the airport for sniffing him https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/drug-dealer-wasted-on-crack-bites-a-police-dog-after-getting-sniffed-at-the-detroit-airport/

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The Two Bobs Podcast is © The Two Bobs. For more information, see our Who are The Two Bobs? page, or check our Contact page. Words, views, and opinions are our own and do not represent those of our friends, family, or our employers, unless otherwise noted. Music for The Two Bobs was provided by JewelBeat.

TTB120: Pubic Swirl

On: January 20, 2020January 26, 2020 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 49:47 — 22.9MB)

The Two Bobs episode 120 for Monday, January 20, 2020:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob sucked down a Cozy Blanket from Short’s. https://www.shortsbrewing.com/beers/cozyblanket/
- Robert enjoyed a Siren Noire from Heavy Seas. https://www.hsbeer.com/brews
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or we’ll put bull stimulant in your coffee.
We got a voicemail from a very special listener…in so many ways. It was poetic!
Cheesecake Factory is releasing ice cream made from actual cheesecake. We could feel our arteries constricting just talking about it. https://www.delish.com/food-news/a30515425/cheesecake-factory-ice-cream-line/
This week’s CRAZY NEWS will make you want to crawl back up into your mother’s uterus.
- Gwyneth Paltrow released a vagina-scented candle and it sold out. We’re assuming the buyers were all middle-aged men who thought the candles were actually made from Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina. https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/gwyneth-paltrows-goop-vagina-scented-candle
- This whackjob beat her boyfriend up for leaving her dog out in the rain. We wonder if he knows Finnigan… https://idahonews.com/news/local/oregon-woman-punches-boyfriend-in-the-face-twice-for-leaving-dog-in-the-rain
- Florida police responded after a neighbor reported hearing someone screaming “Let me out!” It was Gwyneth Paltrow trapped inside her vagina candle factory. Kidding! https://apnews.com/1ceb50398e70c70ecde9be56ef8a2d34
- A man south of the border was hospitalized after suffering a three-day erection for taking bull stimulants. https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-suffers-three-day-erection-21271951
- Have you ever gotten your dick stuck in a metal pipe? Well, if you’ve been considering fucking one you should consider listening to this story. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7885173/Mans-penis-ROTS-gets-stuck-metal-pipe-five-days.html
- Have you ever gotten frostbite on your dick? Well, if you’ve been thinking about fucking a snowman you should consider listening to this story. https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/minnesota-man-suffers-extreme-frostbite-to-genitals-after-drunken-sex-with-snowman-he-mistook-for-ex-wife/

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

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TTB119: Taint Band-Aid

On: January 13, 2020January 13, 2020 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:02:32 — 28.8MB)

The Two Bobs episode 119 for Monday, January 13, 2020:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob sucked down a Widow Maker Black Ale from Keweenaw Brewing Co. Widow Maker Black Ale https://www.kbc.beer/our-brews
- Robert enjoyed a Frangelic Mountain Brown from Founders. https://foundersbrewing.com/our-beer/frangelic-mountain-brown/
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or we’ll send a 76-year old hooker to your house.
Have you heard of the Krispy Kreme challenge? It’s where you run several miles while eating a dozen donuts. Everyone who finishes without vomiting or dying wins. http://krispykremechallenge.com/#intro
This week’s CRAZY NEWS will make you laugh, make you cry, and possibly give you a raging erection.
- Rage over McDonald’s dipping sauce lands a woman in jail. Can’t say we’ve never been there! (Dipping sauce rage, not jail.) http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/dipping-sauce-meltdown-412059
- A woman is arrested for trying to pass her dog’s piss off as her own. https://www.lex18.com/news/woman-arrested-after-trying-to-pass-of-dogs-urine-as-own
- These dumbasses got busted for trying to cash a fake lottery ticket using super glue. https://www.wapt.com/article/2-caught-trying-to-cash-in-fake-dollar100k-scratch-off-ticket-police-say/30417525
- High school English teacher is charged with shitting on a park building several times a day for two years. https://madison.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/milton-teacher-admits-defecating-in-rural-whitewater-park-for-more/article_746265fe-565a-53d6-9b90-a72606a7fcb6.html
- A 76-year old hooker announced her retirement after turning her 500,000th trick. https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/a-page-turns-in-las-vegas-history-76-year-old-prostitute-retires-after-satisfying-her-500000th-client/

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

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TTB099: Smut Collection

On: April 22, 2019April 21, 2019 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 50:30 — 23.3MB)

The Two Bobs episode 99 for Monday, April 22, 2019:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob enjoyed a Raison D’Extra from Dogfish Head. https://www.dogfish.com/brewery/beer/raison-dextra
- Robert had a Virgindia Pale Ale from Hardywood. https://hardywood.com/beer/vipa/
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or we’ll toss your porn collection.
Apparently holding in your farts can cause them to come out of your mouth. Takes the name “assface” to a whole new level! http://www.ladbible.com/news/interesting-holding-in-farts-could-make-them-come-out-of-your-mouth-20190409
Heinz is messing around with Mayo again. https://www.today.com/food/cadbury-creme-egg-flavored-mayo-now-unfortunately-thing-t151735
This week’s CRAZY NEWS will make that night you blacked out and fucked a goat seem like appropriate behavior. #itsallrelative
- A man is caught masturbating to horses twice in 24 hours. Are you sexually attracted to horses, yay or neighhhhhhhh? https://metro.co.uk/2019/04/09/man-who-cant-stop-masturbating-over-horses-caught-twice-in-24-hours-9138438/
- We have really outdone ourselves this time. This is basically several news stories rolled into one. https://www.ky3.com/content/news/Woman-does-karate-son-gets-nude-dog-steals-cornbread-mix-from-Walmart-police-say-508512171.html
- Dumbass bought an $8 million private island and then robbed a Kmart to furnish it. https://abcnews.go.com/US/man-accused-stealing-kmart-days-buying-million-private/story?id=62263411
- Florida man took his shirt off at an Olive Garden and ate spaghetti with his bare hands. https://www.whiskeyriff.com/2019/04/12/drunk-shirtless-florida-man-arrested-at-olive-garden-after-eating-spaghetti-with-his-hands/
- A Michigan man sued his parents for tossing his $86,000 porn collection. Who pays for porn in 2019? (Insert face palm) https://abcnews.go.com/US/michigan-man-sues-parents-86000-tossing-porn-collection/story?id=62385198
- A thief is hospitalized after shoving 7-eleven burritos up his ass. Spicy! https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/would-be-thief-hospitalized-after-putting-hot-burritos-up-his-rectum-in-7-eleven-store

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

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TTB067: Where Do You Want These Fish Bags?

On: June 25, 2018June 24, 2018 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:08:30 — 31.4MB)

The Two Bobs episode 67 for Monday, June 25, 2018:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob enjoyed a Jake’s Vanilla Bean Porter by Paw Paw Brewing Co. https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/24745/103950/
- Robert took down a Dragons & YumYums by Dogfish Head. https://www.dogfish.com/brewery/beer/dragons-yumyums
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or don’t be upset if you take a unexpected sausage to the face.
The Bobs got a voicemail from who appears to be a relative of Scary Caller. It wasn’t exactly complimentary so clearly the guy is insane and the whole thing is fake news. Thanks (but no thanks) for calling!
So there’s a home beer dispenser. Imagine a Keurig for beer if you can mentally handle such a task. Most of our listeners are idiots. https://www.digitaltrends.com/home/krups-sub-home-beer-dispenser/
- Check out participating breweries and discover your taste in beer! https://www.hopsy.beer/breweries
The Bobs debated the value of stock email signatures. Robert doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. In all fairness, Rob writes the show notes.
The Bobs have a lot of catching up to do after being off the past couple of weeks so they’re giving you five CRAZY NEWS stories! Try not to let your little pea brain implode.
- Move over Proactiv! Dog piss is here to give you the skin you’ve been craving ever since being spat out from your mother’s vagina! Apparently it also cures cancer. It actually doesn’t do anything of that. This horrid bitch seems to think it does though. https://www.unilad.co.uk/animals/woman-drinks-her-dogs-urine-and-claims-it-has-cleared-her-acne/
- In a real life Hannibal Lecter type of situation a guy serves up his amputated foot to his friends in the form of taco meat. It’s utterly disgusting. These guys should seriously end up on the other side of Trump’s wall. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/gykmn7/legal-ethical-cannibalism-human-meat-tacos-reddit-wtf
- A Phillies fan takes a sausage to the eye. That’s pretty typical for a Phillies fan though. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kathy-mcvay-hot-dog-cannon-phillies-phanatic_us_5b2c1e25e4b00295f15ac439
- A teacher is arrested for stapling a student’s mouth shut. That’s what the little fucker gets for being a jerk. We mean, child abuse isn’t a laughing matter (especially if you can’t laugh because your mouth is stapled shut). https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/teacher-arrested-for-stapling-a-loudmouth-students-lips-shut/
- A Minnesota mayor retires after four years on the job. Residents are upset because he’s been the best mayor the city has ever seen. Oh, and he’s a dog. http://abc7chicago.com/pets-animals/minnesota-dog-mayor-retires-after-4-years/3624099/

Have a question? Need advice? Have nothing better to do? Tweet it out with #askTTB and we’ll talk about it on the show! You’re welcome.

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

Leave us a message or text us at 530-882-BOBS (530-882-2627)

Join us on all the social things:

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Join our Facebook Group
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Follow Robert on Untappd

The Two Bobs have swag: http://www.thetwobobs.com/swag