mcdonald’s

TTB131: Knicker Face Mask

On: June 1, 2020May 31, 2020 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 53:09 — 24.5MB)

The Two Bobs episode 131 for Monday, June 1, 2020:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob enjoyed a Raspberry Vanilla Java Porter from Atwater. https://www.atwaterbeer.com/beer/raspberry-vjp/
- Robert had a Hoptropolis IPA from New Realm Brewing. https://newrealmbrewing.com/beer/
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or we’ll replace your loved on with sex dolls. You’ll probably like that though, you sick fucker.
This week’s CRAZY NEWS is like the upcoming election only it doesn’t involve an idiotic pumpkin.
- This lady is very passionate about her McDonald’s and prefers the full dine-in experience. https://wjla.com/news/nation-world/okcpd-respond-to-shooting-outside-mcdonalds-in-sw-okc
- The Koreans don’t know how to properly use sex dolls. https://www.espn.com/soccer/fc-seoul/story/4096932/fc-seoul-hit-with-record-fine-for-placing-sex-dolls-in-the-stands
- Granny panties make great face masks. https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/woman-strips-use-knickers-face-22086839
- Kids do the damnedest things, including letting poisonous spiders bite them to gain superpowers. https://nypost.com/2020/05/25/boys-let-black-widow-bite-them-in-hopes-of-turning-into-spider-man/
- There are two reasons to break into a bank: To get money and—the more obvious reason—to warm up your Hot Pockets. https://www.10news.com/news/local-news/man-says-he-broke-into-san-diego-wells-fargo-bank-to-heat-up-his-hot-pockets

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The Two Bobs Podcast is © The Two Bobs. For more information, see our Who are The Two Bobs? page, or check our Contact page. Words, views, and opinions are our own and do not represent those of our friends, family, or our employers, unless otherwise noted. Music for The Two Bobs was provided by JewelBeat.

TTB119: Taint Band-Aid

On: January 13, 2020January 13, 2020 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:02:32 — 28.8MB)

The Two Bobs episode 119 for Monday, January 13, 2020:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob sucked down a Widow Maker Black Ale from Keweenaw Brewing Co. Widow Maker Black Ale https://www.kbc.beer/our-brews
- Robert enjoyed a Frangelic Mountain Brown from Founders. https://foundersbrewing.com/our-beer/frangelic-mountain-brown/
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or we’ll send a 76-year old hooker to your house.
Have you heard of the Krispy Kreme challenge? It’s where you run several miles while eating a dozen donuts. Everyone who finishes without vomiting or dying wins. http://krispykremechallenge.com/#intro
This week’s CRAZY NEWS will make you laugh, make you cry, and possibly give you a raging erection.
- Rage over McDonald’s dipping sauce lands a woman in jail. Can’t say we’ve never been there! (Dipping sauce rage, not jail.) http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/dipping-sauce-meltdown-412059
- A woman is arrested for trying to pass her dog’s piss off as her own. https://www.lex18.com/news/woman-arrested-after-trying-to-pass-of-dogs-urine-as-own
- These dumbasses got busted for trying to cash a fake lottery ticket using super glue. https://www.wapt.com/article/2-caught-trying-to-cash-in-fake-dollar100k-scratch-off-ticket-police-say/30417525
- High school English teacher is charged with shitting on a park building several times a day for two years. https://madison.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/milton-teacher-admits-defecating-in-rural-whitewater-park-for-more/article_746265fe-565a-53d6-9b90-a72606a7fcb6.html
- A 76-year old hooker announced her retirement after turning her 500,000th trick. https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/a-page-turns-in-las-vegas-history-76-year-old-prostitute-retires-after-satisfying-her-500000th-client/

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TTB115: Dorsal Slit

On: November 4, 2019May 8, 2023 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:06:02 — 30.3MB)

The Two Bobs episode 115 for Monday, November 4, 2019:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob had an Electron Brown from Old Nation. https://www.ratebeer.com/beer/old-nation-electron-brown/497138/
- Robert enjoyed an Untitled Art Chocolate Macaroon Imperial Stout from Cerebral Brewing. https://untappd.com/b/untitled-art-chocolate-macaroon-imperial-stout/3334583
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or we’ll hide teeth in your Chinese food.
Halloween happened and The Bobs couldn’t be happier with their kids’ candy pillages.
The Nats won the World Series! The Tigers just barely missed the playoffs (by about 54 games).
This week’s CRAZY NEWS is more unbecoming than going commando to church, which you should totally try (send photos).
- A UK couple found a tooth in their Chinese food. Knowing how well the British take care of their teeth we’re assuming this is normal for them. https://nypost.com/2019/10/29/couple-says-they-found-tooth-in-their-chinese-takeout/
- This guy’s girlfriend lives her life as a kitty cat. He must really enjoy pussy. https://nypost.com/2019/10/30/my-girlfriend-lives-life-as-a-kitty-cat-and-im-her-master/
- A Panama man’s rotting scrotum swelled so badly it was hanging below his knees. There’s just no possible way to make that sound any less atrocious. https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10146658/man-scrotum-swelled-below-knees-rotting/
- A man was filmed fucking a pile of leaves. He must have hugged a tree and misread its reaction. https://metro.co.uk/2019/10/31/man-filmed-trying-sex-pile-leaves-jailed-eight-weeks-11018713/
- Since we’re on the topic of banging inanimate objects, this guy was arrested for having sex with a stuffed Olaf inside a Target store. Better than a pile of leaves, we suppose. https://www.local10.com/news/florida/florida-man-arrested-for-having-sex-with-stuffed-olaf-at-target
- A Kentucky woman gave birth to a 22-pound baby inside a McDonald’s restroom and named him Big Mac. Having experienced several McDonald’s restrooms, she dould have also named him E. coli McHepatitis. https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/kentucky-woman-who-gave-birth-to-22-pound-baby-in-mcdonalds-restroom-names-newborn-big-mac/

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TTB088: Ribbed Balloons

On: December 24, 2018January 4, 2019 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:00:17 — 27.7MB)

The Two Bobs episode 88 for Monday, December 24, 2018:

Merry Christmas!…or happy December 25th for you non-believing asshats.
What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob enjoyed a Hazelnut Vanilla Java Porter from Atwater. https://www.atwaterbeer.com/beer-type/vanilla-java-porter/
- Robert had a Shut Up White Imperial Stout from Center of the Universe. https://cotubrewing.com/portfolio-items/shut/
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or you’re going to get a trunk full of severed dicks. Silver lining: We’ll let you choose whether you want human or whale penises.
You may not know this but rubber chickens have the voices of angels.
- Pachelbel’s Chicken https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khOfSVULtsU
- Havana https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqc8lK92K7E
The real-life consequences of Home Alone booby traps. https://nerdist.com/home-alone-booby-traps-real-life-consequences/
We have enough CRAZY NEWS to fill Santa’s sack…Not the one he keeps toys. Santa has gigantic testicles.
- This bird keeps telling Alexa to order shit from Amazon. https://wjla.com/news/offbeat/parrot-amazon-alexa-order-things-owner-away
- This lady gets off on balloons more than POTUS gets off on pissing off China. http://www.ladbible.com/community/weird-woman-has-sex-with-balloons-and-gets-thrill-from-risk-of-them-popping-20181213
- Just because marijuana is being legalized everywhere doesn’t mean it should be used as currency. This dumbass found out the hard way. https://www.news4jax.com/news/florida/police-florida-man-tries-to-pay-for-mcdonalds-with-marijuana
- Officers discover a bag of human and/or whale dicks on a man’s trunk. http://www.nbcnews6.com/florence-sc-routine-traffic-stop-ends-with-officers-discovering-bag-of-human-penises-in-mans-car/
- An Asian man gets a lung infection from sniffing his dirty socks. https://metro.co.uk/2018/12/15/man-gets-lung-infection-sniffing-socks-8250034/
- A United Airlines pilot and co-pilot are fired for having loud gay sex in-flight. https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/united-airlines-pilot-and-copilot-fired-for-having-loud-sex-together-during-flight/

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

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TTB072: Mr. Cockynuts

On: August 6, 2018August 5, 2018 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 55:14 — 25.4MB)

The Two Bobs episode 72 for Monday, August 6, 2018:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob enjoyed a Pineapple Sculpin from Ballast Point. https://www.ballastpoint.com/beer/pineapple-sculpin/
- Robert slurped down a TropiCannon Citrus IPA from Heavy Seas. http://www.hsbeer.com/brews/brew/VuhdKSUAAMkLNmtt
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or we’re are gonna tong your ass. You’d probably like that though, you sick son of a bitch.
We welcomed yet another addition to our little dysfunctional podcast family.
According to the CDC you’re not supposed to reuse condoms. This is exactly why Robert uses latex gloves. You can use those five times, although the CDC has yet to make an official statement. https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/carolinekee/dont-wash-reuse-condoms-cdc-warns
Speaking of condoms, have you never seen a squirrel eating jizz out of one? Today is your lucky day! https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/squirrel-eating-condom-video_us_5b44edb9e4b048036ea32eae
We have CRAZY NEWS spewing out of our ear holes this week! At least we think it’s crazy news. It smells like cotton candy mixed with Pine-Sol.
- A man was arrested for doing jumping jacks at a McDonald’s in Nashville. It may also be worth mentioning that he was in the women’s restroom and had his dick hanging out. http://www.wlox.com/story/38776652/man-arrested
- Urine makes an excellent organic fire suppressant. https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-essex-45018213
- A man robs a hamburger joint with tongs. We’re not sure which is worse: someone using tongs as a weapon or restaurant employs feeling threatened by someone robbing them with tongs. https://wjla.com/news/offbeat/man-tries-robbing-a-whataburger-with-a-pair-of-tongs
- A spider causes a rollover accident. At least it wasn’t tongs. Those things are dreadful… https://www.wwlp.com/news/local-news/hampshire-county/3-injured-after-rollover-on-ashley-st-in-granby-caused-by-spider/1336398658
- A vegan lion tamer gets in trouble after feeding his animals only carrots. https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/vegan-lion-tamer-arrested-for-feeding-his-animals-only-carrots/We

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

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