Walmart

TTB115: Dorsal Slit

On: November 4, 2019May 8, 2023 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:06:02 — 30.3MB)

The Two Bobs episode 115 for Monday, November 4, 2019:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob had an Electron Brown from Old Nation. https://www.ratebeer.com/beer/old-nation-electron-brown/497138/
- Robert enjoyed an Untitled Art Chocolate Macaroon Imperial Stout from Cerebral Brewing. https://untappd.com/b/untitled-art-chocolate-macaroon-imperial-stout/3334583
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or we’ll hide teeth in your Chinese food.
Halloween happened and The Bobs couldn’t be happier with their kids’ candy pillages.
The Nats won the World Series! The Tigers just barely missed the playoffs (by about 54 games).
This week’s CRAZY NEWS is more unbecoming than going commando to church, which you should totally try (send photos).
- A UK couple found a tooth in their Chinese food. Knowing how well the British take care of their teeth we’re assuming this is normal for them. https://nypost.com/2019/10/29/couple-says-they-found-tooth-in-their-chinese-takeout/
- This guy’s girlfriend lives her life as a kitty cat. He must really enjoy pussy. https://nypost.com/2019/10/30/my-girlfriend-lives-life-as-a-kitty-cat-and-im-her-master/
- A Panama man’s rotting scrotum swelled so badly it was hanging below his knees. There’s just no possible way to make that sound any less atrocious. https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10146658/man-scrotum-swelled-below-knees-rotting/
- A man was filmed fucking a pile of leaves. He must have hugged a tree and misread its reaction. https://metro.co.uk/2019/10/31/man-filmed-trying-sex-pile-leaves-jailed-eight-weeks-11018713/
- Since we’re on the topic of banging inanimate objects, this guy was arrested for having sex with a stuffed Olaf inside a Target store. Better than a pile of leaves, we suppose. https://www.local10.com/news/florida/florida-man-arrested-for-having-sex-with-stuffed-olaf-at-target
- A Kentucky woman gave birth to a 22-pound baby inside a McDonald’s restroom and named him Big Mac. Having experienced several McDonald’s restrooms, she dould have also named him E. coli McHepatitis. https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/kentucky-woman-who-gave-birth-to-22-pound-baby-in-mcdonalds-restroom-names-newborn-big-mac/

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The Two Bobs Podcast is © The Two Bobs. For more information, see our Who are The Two Bobs? page, or check our Contact page. Words, views, and opinions are our own and do not represent those of our friends, family, or our employers, unless otherwise noted. Music for The Two Bobs was provided by JewelBeat.

TTB099: Smut Collection

On: April 22, 2019April 21, 2019 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 50:30 — 23.3MB)

The Two Bobs episode 99 for Monday, April 22, 2019:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob enjoyed a Raison D’Extra from Dogfish Head. https://www.dogfish.com/brewery/beer/raison-dextra
- Robert had a Virgindia Pale Ale from Hardywood. https://hardywood.com/beer/vipa/
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or we’ll toss your porn collection.
Apparently holding in your farts can cause them to come out of your mouth. Takes the name “assface” to a whole new level! http://www.ladbible.com/news/interesting-holding-in-farts-could-make-them-come-out-of-your-mouth-20190409
Heinz is messing around with Mayo again. https://www.today.com/food/cadbury-creme-egg-flavored-mayo-now-unfortunately-thing-t151735
This week’s CRAZY NEWS will make that night you blacked out and fucked a goat seem like appropriate behavior. #itsallrelative
- A man is caught masturbating to horses twice in 24 hours. Are you sexually attracted to horses, yay or neighhhhhhhh? https://metro.co.uk/2019/04/09/man-who-cant-stop-masturbating-over-horses-caught-twice-in-24-hours-9138438/
- We have really outdone ourselves this time. This is basically several news stories rolled into one. https://www.ky3.com/content/news/Woman-does-karate-son-gets-nude-dog-steals-cornbread-mix-from-Walmart-police-say-508512171.html
- Dumbass bought an $8 million private island and then robbed a Kmart to furnish it. https://abcnews.go.com/US/man-accused-stealing-kmart-days-buying-million-private/story?id=62263411
- Florida man took his shirt off at an Olive Garden and ate spaghetti with his bare hands. https://www.whiskeyriff.com/2019/04/12/drunk-shirtless-florida-man-arrested-at-olive-garden-after-eating-spaghetti-with-his-hands/
- A Michigan man sued his parents for tossing his $86,000 porn collection. Who pays for porn in 2019? (Insert face palm) https://abcnews.go.com/US/michigan-man-sues-parents-86000-tossing-porn-collection/story?id=62385198
- A thief is hospitalized after shoving 7-eleven burritos up his ass. Spicy! https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/would-be-thief-hospitalized-after-putting-hot-burritos-up-his-rectum-in-7-eleven-store

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TTB092: Severe Penile Fracture

On: January 28, 2019January 27, 2019 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 49:43 — 22.9MB)

The Two Bobs episode 92 for Monday, January 28, 2019:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob sucked down a Trois Pistoles from Unibroue. https://www.unibroue.com/en/our-beers/trois-pistoles/7
- Robert enjoyed a Transcendence from Commonwealth Brewing Co. https://www.commonwealthbrewingcompany.com/beers/transcendence/
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or we’ll tell your grandma you got your penis stuck in a manhole cover.
A small town police department is offering liquor to its residents. https://triblive.com/state/pennsylvania/14514149-74/pa-police-department-overwhelmed-by-response-looking-for-volunteers-to-get-drunk
This week’s CRAZY NEWS has more penis than a Chinese dildo factory. Enjoy!
- A man wrecks his home with an axe because he thought his wife damaged his action figures. We don’t blame him. http://www.fox19.com/2019/01/22/man-wrecks-home-with-ax-after-he-thought-wife-damaged-his-action-figures/
- A Tennessee inmate claims he “doesn’t have anything” as a bag of drugs hangs from his asshole. If by “anything” he meant “dignity” than he was right. Just kidding. Loading your anal cavity up with drugs is totally respectable. https://www.fox13memphis.com/top-stories/tennessee-inmate-claims-he-doesn-t-have-anything-as-bag-of-fentanyl-hangs-from-buttocks/901882514
- Crazy bitch marries a duvet. Why does this not surprise us at this point? https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/woman-marrying-duvet-reveals-details-13894900
- Florida man visited a Walmart and jerked off in the pillow aisle. Probably wasn’t the craziest thing to happen at a Walmart that day. https://wild955.iheart.com/featured/kelsi/content/2019-01-22-florida-man-caught-masturbating-in-the-pillow-aisle-at-walmart/
- A Colorado stabbing was the result of your typical pants exchange gone wrong. https://kdvr.com/2019/01/22/boulder-stabbing-sparked-by-unsatisfactory-pants-exchange-suspect-in-custody/
- A man is arrested for getting his dick stuck in a manhole cover near a school. Weird…We didn’t think Donald Trump could go that close to a school. https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/homeless-mans-penis-snapped-in-half-during-frantic-sex-with-manhole-cover/

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

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TTB091: Microsoft Refund Department

On: January 21, 2019January 21, 2019 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 50:13 — 23.1MB)

The Two Bobs episode 91 for Monday, January 21, 2019:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob enjoyed an El Rojo from Griffin Claw. https://griffinclawbrewingcompany.com/beer/
- Robert had a Desolation Imperial Porter from 3 Stars Brewing. http://3starsbrewing.com/desolation/
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or we’ll send you to court with a backpack full of drug paraphernalia.
Robert got a call from the Microsoft Refund Department. Apparently one of the largest tech companies in the world just went out of business and didn’t make news headlines.
This week’s CRAZY NEWS is so insane it makes Trump’s wall seem like a good way to spend $5 billion in taxpayer dollars….Wait….Nope, it’s still a waste of money.
- A woman shows up to court on drug charges with a backpack full of drugs. https://www.abc15.com/news/local-news/oh-stark/woman-shows-up-to-court-on-drug-charges-with-backpack-full-of-drugs
- A Mexican cop is called in to break up an orgy only to discover his wife is one of them. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6598761/Two-drunk-women-brawl-orgy-one-got-attention-fellow-police-cadet.html
- Now you semen, now you don’t! https://wjla.com/news/offbeat/man-treated-in-hospital-after-injecting-himself-with-own-semen
- A Florida woman married a ferris wheel. https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/florida-woman-married-ferris-wheel-like-ride-loved-decades-article-1.1516404
- A woman is banned from Walmart for riding a cart while drinking wine out of a Pringle’s container. https://www.ajc.com/news/national/woman-banned-from-walmart-after-riding-cart-while-drinking-wine-from-pringles-can-police-say/pUtXPnUokStQiaJLC0FE1O/
- A California woman sues her parents for being ugly. https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/california-woman-sues-her-parents-because-she-is-ugly/

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

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TTB081: Human Spice Cookies

On: October 22, 2018October 25, 2018 By: The Two Bobs

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 56:40 — 26.1MB)

The Two Bobs episode 80 for Monday, October 22, 2018:

What are The Bobs drinking?
- Rob enjoyed a Curmudgeon’s Better Half from Founders. https://foundersbrewing.com/latest-news/2018/new-beer-release-curmudgeons-better-half-2/
- Robert took down a Mad Rex Red Rye IPA. https://untappd.com/b/blueprint-brewing-co-mad-rex/2549207
- Follow us on Untappd at @lowercaserobert and @RobFromTTB or we’ll force you to eat pizza every day for the next 30 years. Wait…that’s a good thing.
The idiot from Episode 78 that shoved his toddler into a claw machine got in trouble and lost his job. Probably for the best, especially since the middle school he worked at has vending machines and middle schoolers don’t fit as easily through the slots. https://www.eagletribune.com/news/merrimack_valley/andover-teacher-resigns-amid-nh-theft-child-endangerment-accusations/article_32347fae-b090-57bf-a186-8abeabf45bac.html
Buffalo Wild Wings has an awesome autumnal limited release wing sauce. Robert won’t try it though because he’s a sissy. https://www.bustle.com/p/buffalo-wild-wings-launched-a-bbq-pumpkin-sauce-flavor-for-a-limited-time-12270681
This week’s CRAZY NEWS is so insane it’ll make that one time you spanked it to your cousin’s yearbook photo seem rather normal.
- This guy has eaten pizza literally every day for the last 30 years and is still alive and well. Fuck you, science! https://www.app.com/story/life/food/2018/10/11/hackensack-nj-man-has-eaten-pizza-every-day-over-30-years/1603730002/
- A naked man swims with sharks at a Toronto aquarium and gets in trouble. Here we thought Canada was a lawless wasteland… https://www.680news.com/2018/10/15/naked-man-jumps-into-shark-tank-at-torontos-ripleys-aquarium/
- This genius ate a Tide Pod and then beat the shit out of the hospital trying to save his life. https://metro.co.uk/2018/10/15/man-ate-tide-pod-then-destroyed-7500-of-hospital-equipment-8040660/?
- Cookies stuffed with human remains are handed out at a high school in California. Human spice everything! http://www.newser.com/story/266025/cops-cookies-with-human-remains-possibly-doled-out-at-school.html
- A woman is arrested for trying out dozens of sex toys at a Walmart. This lady gets in trouble while people all over the world are trying on shoes—out in the open and in full view of families and virgins—prior to purchase? It’s a terrible double standard and it needs to stop. https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/woman-arrested-for-trying-out-dozens-of-sex-toys-in-the-middle-of-a-walmart-store/

Please share the show with your friends, and don’t forget to subscribe! Visit www.thetwobobs.com for our contact information. Thanks for listening!

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